But surprisingly, it didn’t take me that long to get over it. The fact that he is dating again just made me feel even more resolute to put everything behind me. Yes, it hurts that he is now with someone else but I took it as a sign that he has moved on and thus, so should I.

Therefore, if you are in the same situation now, don’t look back. If your ex is dating again, it is okay to feel hurt because after all, this guy used to be yours. There is an emotional bond there that takes time to sever. But while you are feeling miserable, also tell yourself that this is a clear sign that there is no turning back. Your ex is now happy and with another. You are no longer the person in his life because someone else has taken over your place.

Do not use the fact that your ex is dating again as an excuse to continue to feel sad. Instead, use it as a clear signal to get over your pain because there is nothing else to hang on to with your ex already moving on with his life.

Another way to deal with this issue is to think of all your ex’s weaknesses and annoying habits. A friend of mine used to do this everyday whenever she thought of her ex and his new girlfriend. She would then feel a little better because in her mind, another woman is now burdened with her ex with all his weaknesses, and not her! Sort of like a good riddance kind of mentality at play here.

The bottomline is do and think of things that will make you feel better, short of harming yourself along the way, when you know your ex is dating again. Accept that people do move on in life and acquire new interests. That should also be your immediate goal when you are trying to overcome a broken heart.

But bear in mind that sometimes, it is not really the person that we miss, but rather the stability and familiarity that the relationship provides. It is important that you distinguish between the two. You might think that you miss your ex but in fact, you are just afraid of the unknown and long for the familiar. This is possible, especially if you have been with your ex for years.

Furthermore, you may also miss having someone that you can share your life with. Your ex fulfilled that role when he was around and it is comforting to know someone is always near, no matter how unhappy that relationship may be. So, the moment he is out of your life, the thought of being alone takes over and makes you uncomfortable. This naturally will bring back memories of your ex and the pain in your heart will take hold. That is also when you begin to yearn for your ex and hope that everything is back to normal.

Settling The Why Do I Miss My Ex Problem

One way you could get rid of the miserable feeling of missing your ex is to look squarely at the problems that plagued your relationship which caused both of you to break up. When you realize the depth of the problems, you may be able to acknowledge the impossibility of having a future with this person. That way, it may be easier to let your ex go rather than hanging on to what is essentially a lousy relationship.

Sometimes, it may also be wise to be a little selfish. Remind yourself that you deserve better and that you can have a happier and healthier relationship. Tell yourself that you are better without your ex. Positive reaffirmations every morning will go a long way towards keeping yourself focused on future goals.

Finally, you can also make use of your negative feelings as a motivation to get out of the rut you are in. If your ex has already move on for example, challenge yourself why you can’t do the same. See it as a goal that you can reach and show yourself that you too can be happy without him.

If you have just broken up with your ex, you need to give yourself time to heal. The pain in your heart is normal and you need to acknowledge it rather than fight it. Grieve, if you must and learn to accept the pain. Once there is acceptance, you can then gradually learn to let go and begin healing.

It’s easier said than done, I know. But having experienced a break up myself, I find that time is necessary for healing to take place. You cannot be impatient and wish for all the hurt to magically disappear. That is just impossible. The more I fought the pain and resist it by telling myself that I shouldn’t feel this way, the harder it is to get through the day.

Instead, when I tell myself it is okay to cry and grieve, it feels better after all the pent-up emotions are released. To me, it is healthier this way rather than keeping all the hurt inside. The acceptance of the pain also led me to accept that the relationship is over. That gave me the impetus to move on and not dwell on my ex for too long.

When you are trying to get over your ex, don’t always think you can’t or it’s hard. Don’t backtrack and start pleading to get back together when it is not in anyone’s best interest in the long run. The pain will be there in the short term and there is no instant fix for it. So, you just have to accept it because acceptance will smooth out the journey towards recovery.

Remember that time is a great healer. Be patient, live with the pain for a while and also get on with your life at the same time. Don’t sit and brood on the unfairness of it all and what it could have been. If many, many people have survived getting over an ex, so can you!

So what if my ex misses me? If the relationship is no longer there and I don’t see how we can get back together as a happy couple, it really doesn’t matter anymore whether the yearning is still there. And it is also silly to think of something that I would never know the answer to unless I go and ask my ex directly. Would I be willing to do that? Definitely not, because I know the future is not there anymore.

What It Means

I guess having gone through the experience of a breakup, I realized that asking “Does my ex miss me?” is just another way of asking “Is there hope for us to get back together?” When the effects of the breakup is still lingering, you wish you never broke up. Even a little sign that he still cares is enough to send your hopes up that he wants you back. So, you keep asking yourself if he misses you and look for the signs that he still does.

Of course, every one is different. In my case, I decided the relationship is not worth salvaging and decided to let it go. So, with it, the question of whether my ex misses me or not gradually became insignificant. My opinion is if you have also decided that your breakup is beneficial in the long run, then don’t dwell on something that no longer matters for your future.

On the other hand, if your relationship is worth repairing, then the question “Does my ex miss me?” may be critical to your next step. You can look for the signs that he still misses you like regular phone calls and excuses to see you. Usually, if an ex misses you, the signs will be there when you talk and touch. I’m sure it is hard to betray one’s emotions when they are still strong after all.

Somehow, special occasions like these just make the yearning worse. You already can feel that something is missing from your life after a break up, but memories of celebrations together just come flooding back when special days are here to make you miss him more. I wonder how many Christmases, birthdays and Valentine’s days have to pass before the thoughts of my ex-boyfriend will be gone.

Sometimes, I tell myself that it is silly to let an ex make me feel this way. That just a thought of him hurts and makes my eyes watery. But, at other times, I also remind myself that the hurt means I have loved him with all my heart and there should be no regrets. After all, didn’t someone once said that it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?

So, yes, it hurts, but there is also a positive side to it if you choose to look at it from another point of view. If it doesn’t hurt when you think of your ex, it certainly can’t be a meaningful relationship that you have had. Only if it hurts, you will learn what you have lost and learn from the experience. Only if it hurts, you know the depth of your own feelings and understand them better. Only if it hurts, you know you have given it your all and it is, perhaps, not meant to be.

Don’t Cry Because It’s Over…
Smile Because It Happened.
Dr. Seuss

I have to admit that I have not yet put the whole break up behind me although I’m trying. There are times that I think of getting him back and there are also times that I tell myself that I should move on.

I think how to forget my ex-boyfriend requires patience. Because I know I won’t be able to just forget the times we shared together in one week or even one year. The person is special and he will always be. So, I know it will be hard to get over him. It doesn’t mean I can’t try but it also doesn’t mean I should rush the process and start dating again, when my heart is still hurting.

Many people have told me that I should get on the social scene and start meeting new guys as a way to forget my ex. It offers a distraction, no doubt, and when you are distracted, you will think of the person less. It might work for some, but I don’t think it will work for me simply because I’m quite a sentimental person. I also don’t like the idea of using someone else to forget my own pain. As experts say, relationships on the rebound never tend to work anyway.

What I’m Doing To Forget Him

So, if I’m not going to date again anytime soon, how can I forget about my ex? I suppose I can try to think of him less for a start. To do so, I have removed a lot of things in my room that remind me of him. I have hid all the photos and gifts. I have replaced his photo in my purse with that of my nieces. I have not called him and I have erased the text messages and emails he had sent when we were together. I figured that I should remove the temptation of wanting to look at them and dwell on the past.

The only thing I have not deleted is his phone number. Not that it made a difference because his contact number and address are actually etched in my brain. Maybe as time passes, the memory will fade or the contact details will change but for the time being, those items still stay in my records.

I have also streered clear of the places we used to frequent. The reasons being I don’t want to bump into him and I don’t need the reminder of the things we used to do at these places. It’s another way to put more distance between me and him as I seek out new places to go.

To occupy my mind and time, rather than dating, I have found a little comfort in taking up an activity I have been interested in for quite some time but never got around to doing it. Now that I have the time, I have bought myself a new camera and started learning photography. I’m thinking that if I can sustain this interest, I will even start a photography blog! That will certainly takes care of all the time I have on my hands and provide me with the required distraction.

I also talk to my girlfriends and I’m thankful that they have stood by me thoughout this episode. They make me laugh at times, which is good to release all the stress of coping with a break up. At least, they help me to forget about my ex momentarily while I’m with them.

Can all these make me forget my ex-boyfriend for good? Of course not. As I have said, it will be hard to put all this behind me. I may not be able to forget him, but I know they help to make time passes by faster and with it, the pain lessens somewhat.

What makes getting over him so hard is because he is a great guy. He is honest and honesty is not something you can easily find anymore in a partner. I have friends who broke up because their partners were cheating and seeing others behind their backs. Mine wasn’t like that at all. That is why breaking up with him is so damn hard. How can you let go of a great guy, right? Someone that you have fallen in love with because of his personality and still do.

Maybe the chemistry is not there anymore. But can’t we at least try to bring back the spark? Why give it up? I asked but got no answer. So, I can only let go no matter how much I wanted it never to end. You can’t tie someone down when his heart is not there anymore. Or can you?

Salvaging The Relationship

Because according to this guy, almost all relationships can be salvaged:

“… it is my opinion that there are really no impossible situations. I have seen women not only wait on a man for months, but take back men that have spent years in prison…and… I have seen men take women back that have had MORE THAN ONE AFFAIR… And everything else in between!”

There are techniques and strategies to get back an ex, it seems. “Recipes” that can make your ex come back to you as mentioned by this same guy. Really? Have anyone given it a try?

Sometimes, I think that if getting over an ex is so hard and you are missing him terribly, there is really no harm in trying to get back together. And if you want him back, you will need to work for it using whatever strategies that might be available. Sitting around and brooding like me won’t make him come back. You will need to act, fast.

So, why am I still not salvaging this relationship when it is so hard getting over my ex? Frankly, I don’t know. Right now, I just know that I’m suffering and yes, it is hard getting over an ex. That’s about all my mind can process at this stage, I guess, given all the pain inside.