I used to ask myself this: Does my ex miss me? I even asked my friends back then. After a while though, I realized another thing instead and that is: Does it matter?

So what if my ex misses me? If the relationship is no longer there and I don’t see how we can get back together as a happy couple, it really doesn’t matter anymore whether the yearning is still there. And it is also silly to think of something that I would never know the answer to unless I go and ask my ex directly. Would I be willing to do that? Definitely not, because I know the future is not there anymore.

What It Means

I guess having gone through the experience of a breakup, I realized that asking “Does my ex miss me?” is just another way of asking “Is there hope for us to get back together?” When the effects of the breakup is still lingering, you wish you never broke up. Even a little sign that he still cares is enough to send your hopes up that he wants you back. So, you keep asking yourself if he misses you and look for the signs that he still does.

Of course, every one is different. In my case, I decided the relationship is not worth salvaging and decided to let it go. So, with it, the question of whether my ex misses me or not gradually became insignificant. My opinion is if you have also decided that your breakup is beneficial in the long run, then don’t dwell on something that no longer matters for your future.

On the other hand, if your relationship is worth repairing, then the question “Does my ex miss me?” may be critical to your next step. You can look for the signs that he still misses you like regular phone calls and excuses to see you. Usually, if an ex misses you, the signs will be there when you talk and touch. I’m sure it is hard to betray one’s emotions when they are still strong after all.

As I sit down and write this post, it is nearing our anniversary of officially being a couple. So, I’m sure you understand that it hurts thinking of my ex now because special days like anniversaries, Christmas and birthdays just accentuate the pain of being without the person you love.

Somehow, special occasions like these just make the yearning worse. You already can feel that something is missing from your life after a break up, but memories of celebrations together just come flooding back when special days are here to make you miss him more. I wonder how many Christmases, birthdays and Valentine’s days have to pass before the thoughts of my ex-boyfriend will be gone.

Sometimes, I tell myself that it is silly to let an ex make me feel this way. That just a thought of him hurts and makes my eyes watery. But, at other times, I also remind myself that the hurt means I have loved him with all my heart and there should be no regrets. After all, didn’t someone once said that it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?

So, yes, it hurts, but there is also a positive side to it if you choose to look at it from another point of view. If it doesn’t hurt when you think of your ex, it certainly can’t be a meaningful relationship that you have had. Only if it hurts, you will learn what you have lost and learn from the experience. Only if it hurts, you know the depth of your own feelings and understand them better. Only if it hurts, you know you have given it your all and it is, perhaps, not meant to be.

Don’t Cry Because It’s Over…
Smile Because It Happened.
Dr. Seuss

Many friends have given me advice on how to forget my ex-boyfriend and just move on. It is not easy, especially when the break up is still fairly new. You certainly cannot forget about someone overnight because memories stay with you, no matter how much you want them to go away.

I have to admit that I have not yet put the whole break up behind me although I’m trying. There are times that I think of getting him back and there are also times that I tell myself that I should move on.

I think how to forget my ex-boyfriend requires patience. Because I know I won’t be able to just forget the times we shared together in one week or even one year. The person is special and he will always be. So, I know it will be hard to get over him. It doesn’t mean I can’t try but it also doesn’t mean I should rush the process and start dating again, when my heart is still hurting.

Many people have told me that I should get on the social scene and start meeting new guys as a way to forget my ex. It offers a distraction, no doubt, and when you are distracted, you will think of the person less. It might work for some, but I don’t think it will work for me simply because I’m quite a sentimental person. I also don’t like the idea of using someone else to forget my own pain. As experts say, relationships on the rebound never tend to work anyway.

What I’m Doing To Forget Him

So, if I’m not going to date again anytime soon, how can I forget about my ex? I suppose I can try to think of him less for a start. To do so, I have removed a lot of things in my room that remind me of him. I have hid all the photos and gifts. I have replaced his photo in my purse with that of my nieces. I have not called him and I have erased the text messages and emails he had sent when we were together. I figured that I should remove the temptation of wanting to look at them and dwell on the past.

The only thing I have not deleted is his phone number. Not that it made a difference because his contact number and address are actually etched in my brain. Maybe as time passes, the memory will fade or the contact details will change but for the time being, those items still stay in my records.

I have also streered clear of the places we used to frequent. The reasons being I don’t want to bump into him and I don’t need the reminder of the things we used to do at these places. It’s another way to put more distance between me and him as I seek out new places to go.

To occupy my mind and time, rather than dating, I have found a little comfort in taking up an activity I have been interested in for quite some time but never got around to doing it. Now that I have the time, I have bought myself a new camera and started learning photography. I’m thinking that if I can sustain this interest, I will even start a photography blog! That will certainly takes care of all the time I have on my hands and provide me with the required distraction.

I also talk to my girlfriends and I’m thankful that they have stood by me thoughout this episode. They make me laugh at times, which is good to release all the stress of coping with a break up. At least, they help me to forget about my ex momentarily while I’m with them.

Can all these make me forget my ex-boyfriend for good? Of course not. As I have said, it will be hard to put all this behind me. I may not be able to forget him, but I know they help to make time passes by faster and with it, the pain lessens somewhat.

Everyone tells me that time will heal all wounds. That I can get over him if I keep myself busy and start seeing other guys. Him being my ex. The person that left me to do his own thing. He said he wanted a change as being with me is tying him down in a way that is becoming a little restrictive. He wants to be free. Whatever that means.

What makes getting over him so hard is because he is a great guy. He is honest and honesty is not something you can easily find anymore in a partner. I have friends who broke up because their partners were cheating and seeing others behind their backs. Mine wasn’t like that at all. That is why breaking up with him is so damn hard. How can you let go of a great guy, right? Someone that you have fallen in love with because of his personality and still do.

Maybe the chemistry is not there anymore. But can’t we at least try to bring back the spark? Why give it up? I asked but got no answer. So, I can only let go no matter how much I wanted it never to end. You can’t tie someone down when his heart is not there anymore. Or can you?

Salvaging The Relationship

Because according to this guy, almost all relationships can be salvaged:

“… it is my opinion that there are really no impossible situations. I have seen women not only wait on a man for months, but take back men that have spent years in prison…and… I have seen men take women back that have had MORE THAN ONE AFFAIR… And everything else in between!”

There are techniques and strategies to get back an ex, it seems. “Recipes” that can make your ex come back to you as mentioned by this same guy. Really? Have anyone given it a try?

Sometimes, I think that if getting over an ex is so hard and you are missing him terribly, there is really no harm in trying to get back together. And if you want him back, you will need to work for it using whatever strategies that might be available. Sitting around and brooding like me won’t make him come back. You will need to act, fast.

So, why am I still not salvaging this relationship when it is so hard getting over my ex? Frankly, I don’t know. Right now, I just know that I’m suffering and yes, it is hard getting over an ex. That’s about all my mind can process at this stage, I guess, given all the pain inside.