But surprisingly, it didn’t take me that long to get over it. The fact that he is dating again just made me feel even more resolute to put everything behind me. Yes, it hurts that he is now with someone else but I took it as a sign that he has moved on and thus, so should I.

Therefore, if you are in the same situation now, don’t look back. If your ex is dating again, it is okay to feel hurt because after all, this guy used to be yours. There is an emotional bond there that takes time to sever. But while you are feeling miserable, also tell yourself that this is a clear sign that there is no turning back. Your ex is now happy and with another. You are no longer the person in his life because someone else has taken over your place.

Do not use the fact that your ex is dating again as an excuse to continue to feel sad. Instead, use it as a clear signal to get over your pain because there is nothing else to hang on to with your ex already moving on with his life.

Another way to deal with this issue is to think of all your ex’s weaknesses and annoying habits. A friend of mine used to do this everyday whenever she thought of her ex and his new girlfriend. She would then feel a little better because in her mind, another woman is now burdened with her ex with all his weaknesses, and not her! Sort of like a good riddance kind of mentality at play here.

The bottomline is do and think of things that will make you feel better, short of harming yourself along the way, when you know your ex is dating again. Accept that people do move on in life and acquire new interests. That should also be your immediate goal when you are trying to overcome a broken heart.

In other words, it is easy to blame yourself for the break up. So, when your hurt is still fresh and raw, make a conscious effort to stop torturing yourself with this question of why did he leave. This is because it is easy for your self-confidence and self-esteem to be affected when someone chose to leave. From my own experience, you can end up believing that you are inadequate in some way to cause your ex to say goodbye. When you are feeling down and miserable, you can look at yourself and see only the negatives when that is the last thing you should do to get over the unhappiness.

Of course, you may have a role to play to cause your relationship to crumble. You may have your own weaknesses that you need to correct. But to know why your ex left, you need to confront it in an objective manner and a clear mind. Once the hurt has lessened and you are not prone to crying fits any longer, that is when you can look back on your relationship and dissect what went wrong. Why did he leave me then can become a learning experience and a motivation to improve yourself rather than an excuse to wallow in self-pity and misery.

While it provides closure to know why your ex left, it is also important that you do not over-analyze the situation. If you can hazard a good guess, that is good enough. There is no need to go over the break up over and over again looking for confirmation of the exact reason of why your ex wanted to leave. Basically, do not let the question occupy your mind all the time. Think it over, learn from it and then move on.

But bear in mind that sometimes, it is not really the person that we miss, but rather the stability and familiarity that the relationship provides. It is important that you distinguish between the two. You might think that you miss your ex but in fact, you are just afraid of the unknown and long for the familiar. This is possible, especially if you have been with your ex for years.

Furthermore, you may also miss having someone that you can share your life with. Your ex fulfilled that role when he was around and it is comforting to know someone is always near, no matter how unhappy that relationship may be. So, the moment he is out of your life, the thought of being alone takes over and makes you uncomfortable. This naturally will bring back memories of your ex and the pain in your heart will take hold. That is also when you begin to yearn for your ex and hope that everything is back to normal.

Settling The Why Do I Miss My Ex Problem

One way you could get rid of the miserable feeling of missing your ex is to look squarely at the problems that plagued your relationship which caused both of you to break up. When you realize the depth of the problems, you may be able to acknowledge the impossibility of having a future with this person. That way, it may be easier to let your ex go rather than hanging on to what is essentially a lousy relationship.

Sometimes, it may also be wise to be a little selfish. Remind yourself that you deserve better and that you can have a happier and healthier relationship. Tell yourself that you are better without your ex. Positive reaffirmations every morning will go a long way towards keeping yourself focused on future goals.

Finally, you can also make use of your negative feelings as a motivation to get out of the rut you are in. If your ex has already move on for example, challenge yourself why you can’t do the same. See it as a goal that you can reach and show yourself that you too can be happy without him.

If you have just broken up with your ex, you need to give yourself time to heal. The pain in your heart is normal and you need to acknowledge it rather than fight it. Grieve, if you must and learn to accept the pain. Once there is acceptance, you can then gradually learn to let go and begin healing.

It’s easier said than done, I know. But having experienced a break up myself, I find that time is necessary for healing to take place. You cannot be impatient and wish for all the hurt to magically disappear. That is just impossible. The more I fought the pain and resist it by telling myself that I shouldn’t feel this way, the harder it is to get through the day.

Instead, when I tell myself it is okay to cry and grieve, it feels better after all the pent-up emotions are released. To me, it is healthier this way rather than keeping all the hurt inside. The acceptance of the pain also led me to accept that the relationship is over. That gave me the impetus to move on and not dwell on my ex for too long.

When you are trying to get over your ex, don’t always think you can’t or it’s hard. Don’t backtrack and start pleading to get back together when it is not in anyone’s best interest in the long run. The pain will be there in the short term and there is no instant fix for it. So, you just have to accept it because acceptance will smooth out the journey towards recovery.

Remember that time is a great healer. Be patient, live with the pain for a while and also get on with your life at the same time. Don’t sit and brood on the unfairness of it all and what it could have been. If many, many people have survived getting over an ex, so can you!

Of course, you can always try love spells and other potions. But is there a better way? Yes, but the reality is you cannot have absolute control over another person. You can do things that increase the likelihood of a reconciliation but you certainly cannot expect that your actions will definitely result in a happy ending.

For instance, you can cut off contact with your ex for a while to let him have a chance to miss you. Or leave a message that will pique his curiosity to want to call you back. There are all these small steps you can take with the aim to bring back this lost love. But bear in mind that what works for one may not work for another. Think of strategies that call for you to make your ex jealous. If he sees through your charade, he might think you are extremely childish and reinforces his thinking that the break up was the right move to take.

The point is if you want to bring back a lost love, make sure you know him very well. Know what makes him tick. Assess his personality so that you will know which steps have higher chances of getting the results you want. You can learn all the different ways to get back an ex, but you must also know which ones to use and which one you shouldn’t given your ex’s personality and temperament.

At the end of the day, you can try to get back your ex but you cannot expect the move will definitely succeed. There is no guarantee. Go and bring back a lost love with the notion that if you don’t try, you will never know. But don’t go down this path and expect him to be ultimately yours, no matter what. That way, you are not giving yourself a way out should your ex shows no interest.

However, bear in mind that there are factors that can influence people to get back with their exes although it may not be in their best interest in the long run. For example, if your ex decides to reunite because of guilt or sympathy for you, what are the chances it will turn out to be a happy and fulfilling relationship? Similarly, if you get back with your ex because you feel lonely and afraid you can’t find someone new, do you think you can develop a meaningful relationship with him based on mutual love and respect?

In other words, think of why you and your ex are getting back together. Are you truly in love with each other or is it because of other conveniences? Be honest and assess if the relationship has a chance at happiness over the long term rather than look for instant fix to your break up pain.

The other important thing when it comes to reconciliation is to start anew. Clear out all the cobwebs in your relationship first before you jump right back in. That means whatever problems, discontentment and dissatisfaction need to be addressed and resolved with your ex before you re-start the romance. Otherwise, old issues will re-surface after you get back together because the problems that caused all the unhappiness previously have yet to be settled. Unless both of you have changed your perspectives, expectations and needs towards those issues, you are only asking for more heartache down the road by getting back with your ex if you don’t address them first.

Of course, stopping the jealousy is easier said than done. The feeling of possessiveness is still there because this man used to be yours and you feel that you have the “right” to him. Therefore, to stop being jealous of your ex boyfriend, you need to completely let go of the relationship. There are certain practical things you can do to relieve yourself from this possessiveness and get on with your life.

Steps To Overcome Jealousy

• Don’t keep tabs on your ex boyfriend’s activities. Who he is dating and where he goes for a night out are no longer your concerns. If you keep trying to find out every detail about him, you won’t be able to move on and lead a happier life.
• Stop visiting your ex boyfriend’s pages on social sites. You don’t need to torture yourself reading all the comments he has exchanged with the opposite sex on sites like Facebook. Don’t scrutinize his page just to look if he is flirting with anyone and check out photos of women he has been chatting with. Summon the willpower to get your ex out of your friends list. If you stay out of his life, there won’t be anything for you to be jealous about. It boils down to shifting your attention to something more productive.
• Overcome your own insecurities. Find out why and what you are jealous about. Are you simply afraid of being alone? Do you resent “losing” your ex boyfriend to someone else? Bear in mind that jealousy is not love. Being jealous of your ex boyfriend in no way means you are still in love with him and deserve to have him back.
• Avoid comparisons. Don’t compare what your ex boyfriend is doing now with your own current situation. If you see him being happy although both of you have broken up, you will only magnify your own misery.
• Look ahead. The relationship is over and the last thing you should do is focus on an emotion that is destructive. Develop your own interests and circle of friends. Build up your self-confidence. In all probability, when everything has died down and you look back, you may find that your ex boyfriend is not someone that will make an ideal life partner.

You will probably ask yourself, among others:

• What are his motives? What does he want?
• Why am I so eager to hear his voice?
• Is there a chance for us to reunite? Do I want him back?
• Should I call him too?
• Does he still have feelings for me?

Well, if you no longer has feelings for your ex and is ready to cut off contact, then you can simply tell him to leave you alone. But a lot of times,  a phone call can bring back memories and make you ponder what it could have been. It also makes you feel good to think that you are still in his thoughts although you have broken up. As a result, you start to let your mind wonder about being together again. But at the same time, you may be wary about what he wants because of the previous hurtful ending. All these add up to create much confusion in your mind that you feel unsure of what to do and how to react.

Actually, the “my ex boyfriend called me” issue shouldn’t be a hard-to-handle matter. A phone call may not mean anything and it shouldn’t be taken too seriously at the start either. Just treat it as the beginning of a new friendship and make that clear from the outset. After all, you don’t jump back into a relationship with your ex without first, knowing his intentions and second, unsure of what you want.

So, get to know each other better first. Ask the critical questions that can determine your compatibility and analyzed where you failed previously. Only after a period of time when you know what are your true feelings for him and vice-versa that you can make the decision if a relationship is worth pursuing again.

In short, having your ex boyfriend contacting you again after a while shouldn’t be a confusing matter. Don’t think too much and start imagining what ifs. Start as friends again and after a while, you will automatically have a better idea of how to proceed.

By then, how can I stop the break up? I think for many of us that was what happened. We waited until the words “let’s break up” was uttered by our exes and by then, we were at a loss of what to do.

If the same thing were to happen to me again, I definitely wouldn’t have waited until the last minute to try to put the house in order. That aside, I think I could also have done the following:

• Listen to what my ex had to say without being defensive and judgmental. When we were having those break up talks, I felt that I was being “attacked” and instinctively fought back. Needless to say, those talks didn’t solve any problems or got us anywhere near to a solution.
• Put myself in his shoes. I was busy thinking about my own needs and feelings that I failed to see what his needs were and how he felt.
• Learn to compromise. Because everything was about what I wanted in the relationship, I didn’t feel that I need to compromise when I should.
• Stay positive and be happy. When the disagreements started to surface, I was always putting on a gloomy face at home. I just felt unhappy and my body language would communicate that he was the cause of it all. That simply left no room for further heart-to-heart talk. If I had smiled more and tell him things that he wanted to hear, then perhaps, we might have a different ending.

Obviously, you can find out how to stop a break up and try to put into practice what you learned. But apart from that, you also need to be aware that you are doing it for the right reasons and not because you are afraid of what the future might hold without someone beside you.

So what if my ex misses me? If the relationship is no longer there and I don’t see how we can get back together as a happy couple, it really doesn’t matter anymore whether the yearning is still there. And it is also silly to think of something that I would never know the answer to unless I go and ask my ex directly. Would I be willing to do that? Definitely not, because I know the future is not there anymore.

What It Means

I guess having gone through the experience of a breakup, I realized that asking “Does my ex miss me?” is just another way of asking “Is there hope for us to get back together?” When the effects of the breakup is still lingering, you wish you never broke up. Even a little sign that he still cares is enough to send your hopes up that he wants you back. So, you keep asking yourself if he misses you and look for the signs that he still does.

Of course, every one is different. In my case, I decided the relationship is not worth salvaging and decided to let it go. So, with it, the question of whether my ex misses me or not gradually became insignificant. My opinion is if you have also decided that your breakup is beneficial in the long run, then don’t dwell on something that no longer matters for your future.

On the other hand, if your relationship is worth repairing, then the question “Does my ex miss me?” may be critical to your next step. You can look for the signs that he still misses you like regular phone calls and excuses to see you. Usually, if an ex misses you, the signs will be there when you talk and touch. I’m sure it is hard to betray one’s emotions when they are still strong after all.