Somehow, special occasions like these just make the yearning worse. You already can feel that something is missing from your life after a break up, but memories of celebrations together just come flooding back when special days are here to make you miss him more. I wonder how many Christmases, birthdays and Valentine’s days have to pass before the thoughts of my ex-boyfriend will be gone.

Sometimes, I tell myself that it is silly to let an ex make me feel this way. That just a thought of him hurts and makes my eyes watery. But, at other times, I also remind myself that the hurt means I have loved him with all my heart and there should be no regrets. After all, didn’t someone once said that it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?

So, yes, it hurts, but there is also a positive side to it if you choose to look at it from another point of view. If it doesn’t hurt when you think of your ex, it certainly can’t be a meaningful relationship that you have had. Only if it hurts, you will learn what you have lost and learn from the experience. Only if it hurts, you know the depth of your own feelings and understand them better. Only if it hurts, you know you have given it your all and it is, perhaps, not meant to be.

Don’t Cry Because It’s Over…
Smile Because It Happened.
Dr. Seuss

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I have to admit that I have not yet put the whole break up behind me although I’m trying. There are times that I think of getting him back and there are also times that I tell myself that I should move on.

I think how to forget my ex-boyfriend requires patience. Because I know I won’t be able to just forget the times we shared together in one week or even one year. The person is special and he will always be. So, I know it will be hard to get over him. It doesn’t mean I can’t try but it also doesn’t mean I should rush the process and start dating again, when my heart is still hurting.

Many people have told me that I should get on the social scene and start meeting new guys as a way to forget my ex. It offers a distraction, no doubt, and when you are distracted, you will think of the person less. It might work for some, but I don’t think it will work for me simply because I’m quite a sentimental person. I also don’t like the idea of using someone else to forget my own pain. As experts say, relationships on the rebound never tend to work anyway.

What I’m Doing To Forget Him

So, if I’m not going to date again anytime soon, how can I forget about my ex? I suppose I can try to think of him less for a start. To do so, I have removed a lot of things in my room that remind me of him. I have hid all the photos and gifts. I have replaced his photo in my purse with that of my nieces. I have not called him and I have erased the text messages and emails he had sent when we were together. I figured that I should remove the temptation of wanting to look at them and dwell on the past.

The only thing I have not deleted is his phone number. Not that it made a difference because his contact number and address are actually etched in my brain. Maybe as time passes, the memory will fade or the contact details will change but for the time being, those items still stay in my records.

I have also streered clear of the places we used to frequent. The reasons being I don’t want to bump into him and I don’t need the reminder of the things we used to do at these places. It’s another way to put more distance between me and him as I seek out new places to go.

To occupy my mind and time, rather than dating, I have found a little comfort in taking up an activity I have been interested in for quite some time but never got around to doing it. Now that I have the time, I have bought myself a new camera and started learning photography. I’m thinking that if I can sustain this interest, I will even start a photography blog! That will certainly takes care of all the time I have on my hands and provide me with the required distraction.

I also talk to my girlfriends and I’m thankful that they have stood by me thoughout this episode. They make me laugh at times, which is good to release all the stress of coping with a break up. At least, they help me to forget about my ex momentarily while I’m with them.

Can all these make me forget my ex-boyfriend for good? Of course not. As I have said, it will be hard to put all this behind me. I may not be able to forget him, but I know they help to make time passes by faster and with it, the pain lessens somewhat.

Getting Past Your Breakup – Get It Here Now!

Not that I have decided to do so at this stage, although I think about it constantly because I do miss my ex terribly. However, one friend has told me that it’s totally silly to rely on ways to get back ex from the web because only you would know what is in your own heart. Your ex can certainly sense your sincerity when you talk to him and if there is still love and chemistry between the both of you, you don’t need experts to tell you what to do. Sounds logical, right?

But I still think that some of the advices are indeed valuable, especially for people like me who lacks the confidence to know exactly what to do and say to improve the odds of winning back an ex. Maybe I’m a little insecure, but I want the comfort of knowing that I’m doing the right things if I do decide that I want him back. I don’t want to leave it to luck to determine if we can reconcile. After all, if I have made that choice that he should still be a part of my life, then I should also treat the process of getting him back with utmost importance to, at least, better the chances of winning him back. Failure will mean another round of pain and disappointment and I think the second time round could even be worse than the first because this time it would really be for good that he will be gone from my life.

Ways To Get Him Back

So far, my path has more or less conform to what most advices are on this issue. I have let my ex go, and I have not pleaded and begged him to come back to me. I can see the wisdom in that piece of advice because begging will only make him feel more tied down, especially in my case when the reason for our split is because he wanted to be freed from commitments towards me and our relationship.

Moreover, I don’t want my ex to take pity on me. I don’t want him to come back because of my tears which stirred his guilt and sympathy for me. Instead, I want him to actually miss me so that he sees the value of a reconciliation. Ideally, let it be that salvaging the relationship is what both of us want, and not just my own desire.

The other thing I think I’m doing right so far that haven’t ruin my chances of getting my ex back is that I have kept our contact to a minimum. I don’t call, text or email him at all although I’m finding the self-imposed ban extremely hard to cope. Many, many times, I was on the verge of calling him. I phoned my girlfriends instead. If I can’t get through to one friend, I called another. I just made sure I diverted my attention away from my ex and reduce the temptation immediately.

Initially, it was pride that motivated me to cut off contact with him. I wanted to send him the signal that I can live without him and that the break up didn’t bother me. But later, I came to know that he had asked about me through common friends that we share. It may not mean anything at all, but at least, I’m still in his thoughts and he cares enough to ask.

Right now, I’m at this at this stage whereby I’m still thinking how I should move forward. Should I start being more proactive to get my ex back now or do I let more time to lapse before making a decision? Should I date again and see his reaction to test the waters or do I just call him up one of these days to chat?

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I wake up thinking of him and I go to bed at night wondering what he may be up to. I feel there is still a kind of love for him, a sweetness that may be with me for years to come. The happy memories of me and him together also make it hard to forget this one person that has once been a part of my life.

Should I Get Him Back?

Many times I have asked myself whether I should try to get him back. After all, I miss my ex-boyfriend and as far as I know, he is not seriously involve with anyone at the moment. The only thing that is stopping me from trying to win my ex-boyfriend back is courage. I just don’t have the courage to try because I’m afraid of what the answer would be. I have gone through all the pain of a break up and I just don’t know if I can handle another disappointment so soon after such heartache.

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But I have given this issue of getting him back some serious thought and friends too have offered their advice. Basically, I think I should try to get my ex-boyfriend back if:

1. I still love him.
2. I can see a future together with him.
3. All problems that led to our break up can be resolved.
4. I can fulfill his expectations of what a partner should be.
5. I can accept him as he is and not expect him to be what he is not.
6. The chemistry is still there.

Conversely, I shouldn’t be thinking of getting him back if:

1. I’m lonely and I just want his company.
2. I don’t know what the future would hold and if I would be able to find someone else who loves me.
3. I want him just because I can’t have him.
4. I still don’t know exactly what I want in a partner.
5. I’m unwilling to compromise on our problems.
6. My mind is still clouded by strong emotions to make a rational decision.

It’s hard trying to decide what I should do although I miss my ex-boyfriend very much. A part of me wants to move on but another wants to give it another go. It’s the feeling that if I don’t try, I’ll never know what it could have been. After all, you could end up much happier the second time round compared to the first, right?

But if you don’t try at all, your chance at happiness with your ex-boyfriend doesn’t even exist. If you try, there is still a chance things might turn around. That is if you seize the opportunity now before your ex turns indifferent towards the relationship he once had with you. And he will one day very soon.

This is the fear that I have. That I’ll lose that one chance to get my ex back because I have yet to decide what to do. I guess I should make up my mind soon and if you are in the same situation as me, so should you. Don’t let an opportunity to reconcile slip us by because all we have is just that small time window before our exes move on!

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What makes getting over him so hard is because he is a great guy. He is honest and honesty is not something you can easily find anymore in a partner. I have friends who broke up because their partners were cheating and seeing others behind their backs. Mine wasn’t like that at all. That is why breaking up with him is so damn hard. How can you let go of a great guy, right? Someone that you have fallen in love with because of his personality and still do.

Maybe the chemistry is not there anymore. But can’t we at least try to bring back the spark? Why give it up? I asked but got no answer. So, I can only let go no matter how much I wanted it never to end. You can’t tie someone down when his heart is not there anymore. Or can you?

Salvaging The Relationship

Because according to this guy, almost all relationships can be salvaged:

“… it is my opinion that there are really no impossible situations. I have seen women not only wait on a man for months, but take back men that have spent years in prison…and… I have seen men take women back that have had MORE THAN ONE AFFAIR… And everything else in between!”

There are techniques and strategies to get back an ex, it seems. “Recipes” that can make your ex come back to you as mentioned by this same guy. Really? Have anyone given it a try?

Sometimes, I think that if getting over an ex is so hard and you are missing him terribly, there is really no harm in trying to get back together. And if you want him back, you will need to work for it using whatever strategies that might be available. Sitting around and brooding like me won’t make him come back. You will need to act, fast.

So, why am I still not salvaging this relationship when it is so hard getting over my ex? Frankly, I don’t know. Right now, I just know that I’m suffering and yes, it is hard getting over an ex. That’s about all my mind can process at this stage, I guess, given all the pain inside.